Adam Love's Website Disclaimer
When using this website, please note these important
disclaimers, which effectively absolve me from all moral guilt, legal guilt,
religious guilt, philosophical guilt, and petty guilt trips.
Void where prohibited.
All models over 18 years of age.
No animals were harmed during the production of this website.
Batteries not included.
Sign here without admitting guilt.
Do not eat. Not a toy.
Cape does not enable user to fly.
Colors may, in time, fade.
Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients.
Edited for television.
You must be present to win.
Approved for veterans.
Beware of the dog.
Limited time offer.
Unedited and uncensored.
No anchovies unless otherwise specified.
Not recommended for children under 12.
Substantial penalty for early withdrawal.
No entry after dark.
Reproduction strictly prohibited.
Pregnant women, the elderly, and children should avoid prolonged exposure to
For recreational use only.
Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment.
Do not write below this line.
Must be 18 to read.
Contains non-milk fat.
Slightly higher west of the Rockies.
No alcohol, dogs, or horses.
Keep away from pets and small children.
Safety goggles required during use.
Do not fold, spindle or mutilate.
Please remain seated until the web page has come to a complete stop.
Do not look directly into light.
May contain nuts.
If ingested, do not induce vomiting.
Objects in mirror may be closer than they appear.
Do not use if safety seal is broken.
May be too intense for some viewers.
Many suitcases look alike.
Not the Beatles.
Driver does not carry cash.
This product has been shown to cause cancer in laboratory rats.
DO NOT DELETE THIS LINE -- make depend depends on it.
Warranty does not cover normal wear and tear, misuse, volcanic eruption,
meteorite strike, incorrect line voltage, broken antenna or marred cabinet,
electromagnetic radiation from nuclear blasts, falling rocks, leaky roof,
disk failure, mud slides, riots or other civil unrest, lasers, napalm,
torpedoes or ICBMs.
Other restrictions may apply. Breach of these conditions is likely to cause
unimaginable loss that may not be capable of remedy by the payment of
damages or the application of household super-glue.
PLEASE NOTE: Some quantum physics theories suggest that when the consumer is
not directly observing this website, it may cease to exist or will exist only
in a vague and undetermined state.